I'm so glad that you've come to see what kids are doing and saying! As we all know, they can be so hilarious at times. Here are a few funny stories about my kids that have made me laugh. Also see the stories I've added that others have submitted.
If you'd like to submit a funny kid story, I will add a link along with it to your homepage. Just email me and I will add your story here :) Thanks!
When Kylie was about 3, she had a very bad cold. All the usual symptoms
like coughing, runny nose, red cheeks and weepy eyes. I tucked her in for a nap and after awhile she called me. When I got to her room she said in a very concerned voice "Mommy, my eyes are leaking!".
When Kassandra was about 3½, I asked her to hand me her cup. She says to me, "Here you go Your Majesty!". When I asked her where she got that from, she says "from Cinderella" and she gave me a look like I was suppose to know that already!
Just after Kylie turned 7, she was playing with her baby brother's toy wagon. She fell off of it landing face first into the carpet. Immediate howling! After I checked to see that her nose wasn't bleeding, she looks up at me and mournfully says "Mom, is my nose flat?"
While Kylie and I were driving around in the car one day we were having a discussion about babies and toddlers. I was saying that pretty soon we'll be calling Alec a toddler and we won't be calling him a baby anymore. Kylie says, "But we can still call him Alec right?".
submitted by - Marg - Thanks!
When my daugter was 5, she liked me to draw on her back and one time she got goosebumps. She started screaming and crying. I asked her why, she said "Are those chicken pops?" I said "No those are goose bumps" she cried harder. "are they contagious?" I answered "no" she looked down at them "why did the gooses bump into me anyway?"
submitted by - Deanne - Thanks!
I was nursing my newborn daughter when my 2-year old son and husband walked into the hospital room. My son asked what I was doing and I said feeding the baby milk, then he replied, "Can I get some juice out of your arm?"
My son 4 yr old Jalen was having "library time" while I was doing paperwork, and he sneezed. Well I was so into what I was doing I hadn't noticed. So he says "Isn't anyone going to say bless you". So I said, I'm sorry, bless you Jalen. He says, "thank you, I owe you one".
submitted by - Shannon - Thanks!
My daughter was listening to my husband and I talk about going to Miami...she asks me about an hour later when we were going to "Your Ami" it took us a second but then my husband and I looked at each other and starting laughing...I said, "no honney it is everybody's Miami!"
submitted by - Ife Scott - Thanks!
My 5 year old daughter, Isis, has always been a Diva. Last Halloween, after putting the finishing touches on her fairy costume, I told her she looked just like a princess. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "That can't be true 'cause I'm a QUEEN!"
submitted by - Becky Swanson - Thanks!
My son Zach and I were working on his 1st Grade school project. He was Student of the Week and we were to make a poster about him. We decided to divide it into four areas: one about him, his family, his likes, and photos of Zach, his Mom, Stepdad Dave, Dad, and his sister Cierra. We were gluing pictures onto his poster and I needed to leave the table to check on dinner. When I returned a few minutes later, Zach says "I'm done." I said "Great", and looked it over. I then noticed in his "dislikes" section was the picture of his sister. Luckily the glue was still wet and I was able to move her to the family section where she belonged.
submitted by - Tammy Holland - Thanks!
My son Jacob, age 3, had gotten a cut on his finger. I asked if I could put a Band-aid over it so that it wouldn't get irritated. He replied, "But Mommy, it's not "earitated"; it's "fingertated"."
submitted by - Ann - Thanks!
One day, my 4 year old daughter and I were driving down the road and she said, "Look, Mommy! That's where Daddy worked when you got married." I said, "Sydney, you weren't even born, yet. How do you know that? Did someone tell you?" She rolled her eyes at me and said, "I just know these things, Mommy. God tells me."
My little girl fell down and skinned her knee on the sidewalk in front of our house. I took her inside to clean up her knee and I said, "Poor baby. Do you want Mommy to kiss your knee and make it better?" She said, "Mommy, my knee WILL feel better if you kiss it, but I'm NOT a baby. I'm a WOMAN!" She's 4.
submitted by - Elisabeth - Thanks!
My great-niece Lilly, 4 and her sister Janice, 7 were playing at the park holding the princess scepters I had bought them at the dollar store. I shouted for Lilly to come see me, and when she got there, I told her that if she would point her scepter at her sister and say 'You're a Frog!' she would turn into a frog. Lilly, who is usually very hard to understand, ran up to her sister, pointed the scepter and said clearly 'Acabradabra, you're a frog!' Shoulders hunched and dragging her feet, she trudged back to where I was sitting and glumly accused 'It didn't work!'
submitted by - Sandy - Thanks!
I was teaching the 3 year olds in Sunday School and one morning this little girl, Stephanie decided to eat the crayons. I would take it out of her hand as she was tempting to put it in her mouth and put it back in the crayon box, without saying anything, hoping she would get the hint not to eat crayons. After the third one, I said: "Honey, that crayon don't taste good." She picked up a different color and said: "Do this taste good?"
submitted by - Christy - Thanks!
My 8 year old son had been to the doctor one morning for a Flu shot and the nurse told him the shot was so he would not get the Flu this winter. After being put to bed that night, he come out and had a saddened look and tears in his eyes and ask me .."mommy why did you have them give me a FLEA shot .. I have never had Flea's...LOL
submitted by - Betty Stanton - Thanks!
When my son was growing up, I used to tease him with a line from a famous comedian: "I brought you into this world and I can take you out and make another one just like you." This was always a joke between us. Eventually, I had my tubes tied. Shortly afterwards, my son came to me and said, "Mom, last week I was worthless, but this week, I'm priceless!" (Needless to say, I could never tease him with that line again.)
submitted by - Sharon Mikesell - Thanks!
In our part of the country EVERYTHING gets rusty really easy. Our daughter, Heather at the age of 2 1/2 years old was always infatuated by how things looked when they were rusted. She was forever bringing me something that was rusted to look at with her. One Saturday morning I fixed a really big breakfast with beautiful golden, brown biscuits. As we were eating, I noticed that Heather had started eating her biscuit from the top and would not even touch the bottom. She loves biscuits and I couldn't quite figure it out. I asked her why she wasn't eating the whole thing and she looked up at me with the oddest look and turned her biscuit over to the bottom crust which was a "just right brown" so we all could see it. Then she said, "But, Mommy, I can't eat this part it's all rusty!!!". I thought that all of us at the table were going to roll in the floor laughing (ROFL)!! Now, at the age of 7 she still has a hard time with eating the bottom of any biscuit. Unless, of course, it's saturated in ketchup. Thanks for letting me share...this has been a big "LAUGH" in our family since that day! Many blessings to you and yours.
submitted by - Beverly Parrish Brayda - Thanks!
Stephanie was five years old. She had heard in school that grandparents get old and die. So concerned she said to me "Granny, I know where you are going" "Where is that precious?" I asked her. "You will get old and die and...I don't want you to go off and leave me; please say that you will take me with you" I said "I will be here for as long as you need me and then, I will always be in your heart".
submitted by - Mike Pepping - Thanks!
When my son was around 7 years old we were at the store. I was writing a check to pay for the items we were buying and he looked up at me and said, "Dad, I can't wait until I get older so I can get one of those in the mail." I asked "get what in the mail?". He said "one of those check books that you get in the mail. That way I can just write on a check and get what ever I want for free."
I have lots of kid stories, but one I will never forget goes way back to when Sondra started first grade. As the last of my kids to start school, I remember asking her, "What's Mama going to do when you go to school all day and I'm here by myself?" Her rapid reply, in typical female fashion..."You can go shopping and buy me things."
When Sondra was even smaller, maybe three or so, her dad and the older kids were all having a great time just watching the antics of a jumping spider as it was hopping around in the yard. Dad thought Sondra would enjoy it, too, so he called her over to watch. Sondra comes on over to have a look, and the next thing you know, it's "Oooh...bug" SQUASH!
submitted by Lynne - thanks!
When we moved onto our farm and met our new neighbours for the first time, who were then around "eightyish", our daughter about 2 1/2 at the time in all seriousness asked them if they had any children that she could play with. The image of fifty year olds on her swings and slides etc. still brings a smile to my face.
submitted by - Linda Heurlin - Thanks!
My mum was speaking with me and she said that she didn't like dry wines. My little brother heard that and asked, "Isn't all wines wet?!?".
When my son was about 4 years old (he's 21 now!), he was asking questions about butterflies. I tried to explain how they started out as caterpillars. He was confused so I told him that caterpillars are something like larvae... Anyway, it took a while and I was finally able to find a book to help answer his questions. Later that evening we all sat down to eat dinner. He just sort of ate around his mixed vegetables. When I asked him if he would try the lima beans he said, "Do I have to eat the larva beans?" The whole family just roared! I told him, "No honey, not if that's what you think those things are!". He still will not eat lima beans, but then not many people do, I guess.
submitted by - Tracy - thanks!
When my little cousin Owen was 4 yrs old, we were all sitting around after a family dinner chatting away about how big he was getting. Then my aunt started to say how she would someday like to have another child, this time maybe a girl. When Owen heard her say that he asked her "Why a GIRL?". My aunt quickly replied, "Well, since daddy's a boy and you're a boy, mommy needs a little girl too, don't you think?". He looked confused and asked "Why?". So my aunt said, "Because mommy's a girl, we might have a girl next". He had this look on his face as if to say "yuck" and said, "You're not a girl.....you're my mom!".
My son was probably about 3-4 yrs old. I was commenting to someone that he was built like his dad (slim) and told Nate that he had his dad's butt. He turned around kind of mad and said "No!! I got my own butt"!!
submitted by - Ma Maw Karla - Thanks!
When my grandaughter Krissy was only five she was staying the night with me. I was single and had one date with a man before, well that night he was coming over to visit and knew that she was there so he brought us both a rose. I had just gotten a false tooth and couldn't stand the feeling of it so I put it in the candy dish (wrapped candy) a few minutes went by and Krissy, digging in the candy found it and walked over to us and said "oh Ma Maw ah don't forget to put this in your mouth!!"
submitted by - Jene - Thanks!
Yesterday my 4 yr. old Justin was visiting me. I pride myself on his unusually adult language.
Well, his brother came up to me with sticky hands and I said, "what do you want baby".
Justin piped up with "Duh! Just look at his hands Grandma". Then he immediately put his hand over his mouth and said, "oops." I asked him, "Justin, I can't believe you said that. Do you even know what that means?" To which he replied. "Well, it is just a dumb word that we are not supposed to say." I laughed and hugged him and said, "That's right baby, it is a dumb word so don't ever say that again. He just smiled his cute little smile and went to retrieve a wipie for me to get little brother's hands clean with.